All of us who have been in long-term relationships and now, well . . . aren't, grapple with dating dilemmas, such as:
What kind of person am I attracted to now? What do I actually want in a partner today, at this stage of life? Who out there will be attracted to me?
I really happy to delve into these questions for the 50th anniversary issue of Psychology Today magazine. The article, called The Laws of Attraction, turned up some surprising findings, as well as some not-so-shocking ones.
It also shares steps we all can take to up our attraction quotient, such as developing more comfort in our own bodies through sports or fitness or dancing as a way to increase our "dynamic attractiveness." Dynamic attractiveness is how appealing we are in real life, as opposed to in a static photo on Tinder.
Since we live in our bodies, not just online, our physical movements, emotional expressiveness, how much we light up when speaking to someone we just met at the beach all play a factor in how drawn to us others are.
I was fortunate to talk to some of the heavy-hitters in the world of attraction including: David Buss, a psychology professor at the University of Texas at Austin and the author of The Evolution of Desire; biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, the author of Anatomy of Love and Why Him? Why Her?; Glenn Geher, a psychology professor at the State University of New York at New Paltz and a co-author of Mating Intelligence Unleashed; Paul Eastwick, University of California, Davis psychology professor, and Eli Finkel, a psychology professor of Northwestern.
Their findings may surprise you. Read more here.
If it works for the president of France, it works for me. Read this post about older women with younger men.