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Splitopia

Happily Ever, After Divorce

You & Your Ex

Splitopia
  • Wendy Paris/
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  • Wellness/
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Featured
Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11 Questions to Ask
Wendy Paris
Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11 Questions to Ask
Wendy Paris

A recent article in the New York Times poses the question: What should you ask when the love has ended? 

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Wendy Paris
Should You Throw a Divorce Party?
Wendy Paris
Should You Throw a Divorce Party?
Wendy Paris

We have ceremonies and rituals to honor nearly all of life's passages. Increasingly, this includes divorce. 

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Wendy Paris
Divorce, Millennial Style
Wendy Paris
Divorce, Millennial Style
Wendy Paris

Read the latest on the Good Divorce in the April issue of Marie Claire. 

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Wendy Paris
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Wendy Paris
What Is Closure, Anyway?
Wendy Paris

New York Magazine's Emily Esfahani Smith talks to Wendy Paris about getting closure after a break-up. 

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Wendy Paris
Why I Got My Ex a Hammock for Valentine's Day
Wendy Paris
Why I Got My Ex a Hammock for Valentine's Day
Wendy Paris

Divorce is an interactive relationship, meaning your actions can improve the attitude and actions of your former spouse. Here's how. 

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Wendy Paris
Should You Have Sex ... With Your Ex?
Wendy Paris
Should You Have Sex ... With Your Ex?
Wendy Paris

Is there anything wrong with sex with an ex? It seems innocuous. Not to mention fun. But it's rarely without emotional downsides. 

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Wendy Paris
New Divorce Apps Ease Cooperation
Wendy Paris
New Divorce Apps Ease Cooperation
Wendy Paris

Tech lets you get informed, find professionals, log child support and track details—leading to calm and a sense of control.

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Wendy Paris
Alimony for Life: Am I Stuck Supporting Him Forever?
Splitopia Staff
Alimony for Life: Am I Stuck Supporting Him Forever?
Splitopia Staff

1 QUESTION, 3 LAWYERS: Alimony or "spousal support," as it's often called today, can go for life, though increasingly it's for a specific period of time. 

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Splitopia Staff
Principle of Parting #6: Resist the Urge to Compare
Wendy Paris
Principle of Parting #6: Resist the Urge to Compare
Wendy Paris

It can be hard to avoid negative self-comparison, but you want to remain focused on your own path. 

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Wendy Paris
Principle of Parting #5: Combat Anger with Empathy
Wendy Paris
Principle of Parting #5: Combat Anger with Empathy
Wendy Paris

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” --The Buddah

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Wendy Paris
Why Living Near a Co-Parent Makes Real Estate Sense
Laura Brienza
Why Living Near a Co-Parent Makes Real Estate Sense
Laura Brienza

As "Jane the Virgin" shows, living close to an ex can ease logistical and emotional complications of co-parenting. 

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Laura Brienza
CBS-LA Covers DivorceHotel and Splitopia
Wendy Paris
CBS-LA Covers DivorceHotel and Splitopia
Wendy Paris

CBS LA features DivorceHotel and Wendy's decision to "keep the concept and ditch the destination."

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Wendy Paris
Unavailable and Unbelievably Hard to Shake
Wendy Paris
Unavailable and Unbelievably Hard to Shake
Wendy Paris

Q&A: Many of us (all of us?) have experienced the addictive allure of intermittent attention. Manhattan-based psychotherapist Jeanne Safer talks about why we stay, and how to break free. 

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Wendy Paris
Why a Hollywood Ending Matters in This Divorce
Wendy Paris
Why a Hollywood Ending Matters in This Divorce
Wendy Paris

How Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie divorce affects them, their kids—and those of us who look toward celebs for inspiration.  Let's hope it's a good divorce. 

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Wendy Paris
How Couples Counseling Improved My Divorce
Linda Zukauskas
How Couples Counseling Improved My Divorce
Linda Zukauskas

Couples counseling can be surprisingly helpful after you've split up. Here's a look at the upsides. 

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Linda Zukauskas
Divorce Mediation Plants Seeds for Family Success
Wendy Paris
Divorce Mediation Plants Seeds for Family Success
Wendy Paris

Q&A:  Colorado attorney/mediator Beth Henson details on the process and perks of mediation over adversarial litigation. Info you need!

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Wendy Paris
When You Can't Let Go
Jeanne Safer
When You Can't Let Go
Jeanne Safer

BOOK EXCERPT: "Obsessive love is one of the most potent and compelling of tortures and one of the most difficult to overcome." Psychologist Jeanne Safer on love lost and found. 

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Jeanne Safer
"Excellent Ex-Husband" Is Not an Oxymoron
Wendy Paris
"Excellent Ex-Husband" Is Not an Oxymoron
Wendy Paris

Being an ex-husband is an important job, and one with such a low bar, it's easy to excel. 

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Wendy Paris
Same Partner, Second Wedding
Wendy Paris
Same Partner, Second Wedding
Wendy Paris

For some couples, time apart leads to reconciliation.  Journalist Abby Ellin's article in The New York Times about couples who divorced, then remarried. 

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Wendy Paris
Getting Along Better After Divorce, Despite Differences
Wendy Paris
Getting Along Better After Divorce, Despite Differences
Wendy Paris

While adversarial divorce positions marriage and divorce as opposites, collaborative law can make friends of near-enemies. 

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Wendy Paris
My 20 Percent Husband
Wendy Paris
My 20 Percent Husband
Wendy Paris

Psychology Today magazine runs my essay on why a decent divorce is far more realistic than an all-out war.  

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Wendy Paris
Christmas with My Former In-Laws, Again?
Wendy Paris
Christmas with My Former In-Laws, Again?
Wendy Paris

PERSONAL ESSAY: "It isn’t as if you can create your good divorce (or hammer through your bad one), brush off your hands, and consider your work done, particularly if your have children."  

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Wendy Paris
3 Steps Toward Peace, In Divorce or Marriage
Wendy Paris
3 Steps Toward Peace, In Divorce or Marriage
Wendy Paris

From decreasing negative rumination to learning the right lessons from the past, we can continue to improve our relationship with a former spouse, or new one.  

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Wendy Paris
Divorce Counseling Works Better Than Marriage Therapy
Wendy Paris
Divorce Counseling Works Better Than Marriage Therapy
Wendy Paris

I found it more productive to seek help with a discrete problem rather than a Total Personality Overhaul of my spouse, or me.

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Wendy Paris
2 Stellar Communication Skills I Learned in Divorce
Wendy Paris
2 Stellar Communication Skills I Learned in Divorce
Wendy Paris

 As Sun Tzu wrote, “Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” 

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Wendy Paris
Destination Divorce: The Tropical Mediation Vacation
Wendy Paris
Destination Divorce: The Tropical Mediation Vacation
Wendy Paris

Should you go for a tropical mediation vacation? The founder of DivorceHotel says, "Yes!" Here's why.

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Wendy Paris
4 Reasons You Might Be Better Friends After Divorce
Wendy Paris
4 Reasons You Might Be Better Friends After Divorce
Wendy Paris

You need less from an ex. You might change. And two other relationship-improvement factors. 

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Wendy Paris
2 Team Approaches That Can Save You Thousands
Wendy Paris
2 Team Approaches That Can Save You Thousands
Wendy Paris

Mediation and collaborative divorce are two of the most important innovations in family law—and can save you money and heartache.

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Wendy Paris
  • Wendy Paris/
    • About Wendy
    • Wendy's Blog
    • Splitopia: the Book
    • Seven Principles of Parting
  • Wellness/
    • Coping & Thriving
    • House & Home
  • Family & Friends/
    • Parenting
    • You & Your Ex
    • Blending Families
    • Friends, Relatives & Community
  • Law & Money/
    • Making It Legal
    • Money
  • Dating & Sex/
    • Dating & Sex
    • Getting It Right Next Time
  • Resources/
    • Dear Splitopian . . .
    • Helpful Books
    • Videos
  • Search/

Splitopia

Editor's Picks

Featured
Great Reads: Our Top Picks
Great Reads: Our Top Picks

Check out our top picks for help with self-compassion, hope, parenting in divorce and more. 

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Splitopian Profile: Dancing Her Way to Serenity and Romance
Splitopian Profile: Dancing Her Way to Serenity and Romance

Violinist and historical musicology doctoral student Meagan Mason always loved music, but had never really danced to it—until she and her husband of eight years split up about a year ago.

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Splitopian Profile: "It Was Part of My Past, and Will Be in My Future"

Writer Linda Zukauskas realized she could divorce her dance partner, and still keep dancing. 

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Celebs Split Well, and Focus on Co-Parenting
Celebs Split Well, and Focus on Co-Parenting

Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin, a.k.a. Gwyneth's ex, talks about how reading Victor Frankl helped him get through divorce.  

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Why I Got My Ex a Hammock for Valentine's Day
Why I Got My Ex a Hammock for Valentine's Day

Divorce is an interactive relationship, meaning your actions can improve the attitude and actions of your former spouse. Here's how. 

Read more →
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Good Divorce Weekend: The No-Spending Spree

Not shopping, from Black Friday deals through Cyber Monday specials, made this holiday weekend special for my family. 

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Financial Stress Led This Divorced Mom to Hire a Money Coach, Then Become One

Struggling to make ends meet? Money therapy may be the answer.  How to know when it's time to seek help.

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Should You Have Sex ... With Your Ex?
Should You Have Sex ... With Your Ex?

Is there anything wrong with sex with an ex? It seems innocuous. Not to mention fun. But it's rarely without emotional downsides. 

Read more →
Facing a Tough Transition? Create Positive Moments
Facing a Tough Transition? Create Positive Moments

Creating more moments of joy can reawaken parts of yourself or your heritage that may have faded in marriage. 

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Revisiting Vicki Lansky's "Divorce Book for Parents"
Revisiting Vicki Lansky's "Divorce Book for Parents"

Vicky Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents offers a children's Bill of Rights, including the right not be used as a pawn between parents. The author, who was 75, died this week. 

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