Millennials, known for their maverick approach to everything from work styles to consumer habits to non-stop selfie sending, may be at the forefront of a kinder approach to calling it quits. I spoke to reporter Monica Corcoran Harel for her recent article on divorce, millennial-style, published in this month's issue of Marie Claire.
Gwyneth Paltrow may have popularized the idea of "conscious uncoupling," but as Harel writes, the actress's announcement wasn't welcomed immediately:
"An epic backlash to their take on separation ensued. How dare the actress make one of the most stressful moments in life sound like a DIY spa treatment? But Paltrow was onto something already afoot: a craving for a kinder, gentler way to dissolve a marriage—simply put, a good divorce."
As Harel rightly notes, despite the snark, the notion of a good divorce continues to gain traction. There are many reasons why this is happening now, as we cover here, and as Harel touches upon in her piece:
"Why is this movement happening now? Understandably, many couples with children, like Haney and Larson, are motivated to do what's best for the well-being of their kids. Others prefer not to repeat the mistakes of the previous generation; they watched their divorcing parents bitterly antagonize each other and are determined to do the opposite—especially now that they have the means to play nice with mediators, collaborative lawyers, and divorce doulas, who offer emotional and strategic support. But really, it may all come down to the statistical reality that a lifelong monogamous relationship is about as contemporary as a home perm."
Read the rest of Marie Claire's take on divorce, millennial-style.
Here's my take on the Gwyenth Paltrow/Chris Martin split.
Wendy Paris is the author of Splitopia: Dispatches from Today's Good Divorce and How to Part Well (Simon & Schuster/Atria, 2016). Splitopia and her work on divorce have been covered by The New York Times, Real Simple, The Washington Post, The New York Post, The Globe & Mail, Psychology Today, The Houston Chronicle, Salon.com, Parents.com, Family Law Quarterly, PsychCentral.com and radio and TV shows nationwide. She has an MFA in creative nonfiction writing from Columbia University, and is an advocate for family law reform. She is divorced, and lives in Santa Monica, California, a few blocks from her former husband, with whom she has a warm co-parenting relationship.