The month after my husband moved out, I hosted a Passover Seder—essentially a large dinner party with specific religious requirements—for 13 people, most of whom I didn't know. Last month, I did a story-on-stage about this experience, and why it helped give me confidence to move forward with our separation.
The early days of separation can feel like a hurricane of chaos. It can be tempting to hide under the covers, or sit in a torpor on the couch (which I certainly did, too).
But I found it incredibly helpful to extend myself to others, to assert the idea that I could, actually, create a homey home life and hold a space for others and myself.
Watch my take on why hosting a dinner party was so helpful here. (It's seven minutes long.)
This month, try thinking about one thing you can do that reminds you of how much you have to give. Giving back not only takes our mind off our own troubles, but also reminds us of our strength. I write about the value of giving back in my Principle of Parting # 1: Commit to Self Compassion.
Your "dinner party" could be volunteering to be a driver for Meals on Wheels one weekend. You might offer to teach a special skill to the kids in your child's classroom. If it's snowy outside, arrange a hot chocolate night at your home for friends or other families. You could get up on stage at a poetry reading and share your writing with others. If it seems scary or risky, that's fine. Like with divorce, stretching beyond what's comfortable is one way we grow.
Write me and let me know what you come up with at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Check out the SHINE storytelling Facebook page here.
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